I am in need of your help. More specifically: I am in need of your garden hoses.
Hoses can be red
hoses can be blue
any old condition
or length will do
Please keep an eye on the side of the road and your neighbor's trash. Report any sightings immediately. (if the garbage truck is en route, STALL)
Thank you for your help in this matter.
I need a bunch.
Sincerely, Dixon Stetler
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"